For A Taco???

Drunk girl #1: Let's go to Taco Bell, I'm dying for a taco.
Drunk girl #2: I hate Taco Bell. The grease dries up all the alcohol and then I have to start drinking again.
Drunk girl #1: Oh, I didn't know that. Let's just get Greg to buy us the Taco Bell. then he can pay for the new booze too.
Drunk girl #2: Ok, but you'll have to sleep with him tonight. I did it last time.
Drunk girl #1: That's fair, ok.

Heard in front of Mystic Celt

Poor Kids!

Little kid #1: Does your mom read to you?
Little kid #2: No, she told me that if I don't learn how to read by myself I'll never be anything and I'll live on the street.
Little kid #1: My mom reads to me, but usually just books on the Oprah list.

Heard outside the park district building on Southport

Math Genius

Woman on cell: If I buy four six packs of Bud and a case of Miller Lite then I'll have more Bud and I really want to have an even number. Maybe they sell single bottles.

Heard at Jewel

Who Does?

Man talking about dogs: They don't like having their ears pulled.

Heard by Ellen
Southport and Addison

Is There A DNA Test For Cheeseburger?

Man walking dog: She's part Lab, part beagle, but mostly cheeseburger.

Heard by Potbelly's

Good Parenting 102

Man in Cubs gear talking to pregnant woman: If this kid turns out to be a Sox fan, I'm going to have to kill it. There will be no Sox fans in my family ever.

Pregnant woman: Yeah, I'll help kill it, I hate the Sox.

Heard at the corner of Southport and Addison

Due to illness, I won't be updating this until tomorrow or Tuesday.